Too Much Fun!

Ok, Luke has been blogging lately and things have gotten a little DEEP so I am going to bring us all back to the important things in life. This weekend we celebrated Brooke's birthday and Easter. The birthday was celebrate with dinner at Sam's Pizza (kind like a Wausau Chuck E Cheese) and a kid party at the bowling alley. All in all it was great fun and I feel older than ever! I just can't believe my little baby is 6 years old, it might be the perfect age. She is so kind and sweet and the joy on her face when she saw that the Easter Bunny left eggs to hunt was priceless. She REALLY believes! The cutest thing was that she was hunting eggs and found the last one by the window and said "of course, that is the way he got out!" In closing my advice to you is to try and BELIEVE in the Easter Bunny! Life really is more fun if you can look at it with a child's eyes.

Pseudo Purpose

Well today I think I realized what part of my purpose is on this planet. I went to Brooke's classroom today for parent/teacher conferences. I think Heidi had been to one before, but I wasn't able to make it. Let me preface this by telling you that this week Brooke was the "star" (every student in the class gets one week). So for the star of the week the parents get to come to part of the class, hang out, tell the students what they do for a living, bring goodies, etc. I wasn't able to make it due to this thing called a job. I was able to supply the class with some well needed Graebel pins and notepads. I guess one of Brooke's classmates dad worked for me. Well, yes he worked for my packing contractor. Bad news is that she explained to the class that her dad was in jail. Well, yes he was thrown in jail for too many DUI's (go figure in WI). So if you can envision 30 some odd 5 year olds going home today and explaining to their parents that Brooke's dad works for Graebel and they employee convicts. Not the best marketing plan. Needless to say my marketing theory of getting to the parents through the kids backired.

Back to our parent/teacher conference. We sat down with Brooke's teacher and she couldn't find one bad thing to say about her. She complimented about everything she could think of with Brooke. It was truly amazing as a father and I have to say I don't really have much to do with it, its pretty much all Heidi working with her on reading and everything. Truly inspiring. I realized that it is one of the sole purposes for me to be on this earth and the sole purpose of me working everyday. You all know we bitch about work/Graebel but they have done quite a good deed for all our families. Our wives dont have to work unless they want, they help put food on the table, roof over our families, etc. Yes it was a struggle eating nachos, lentils and rice, etc. while we were growing up. But I think we all would have turned out worse if mom had to work. You think? Did they make stupid financial decisions? Of course(WCA/Eastwood/TCA), but I am sure our kids will say the same thing about us. You think?

Other than that we have had a ton of snow, bought a way too expensive TV, painted every room in the house, and I think that's it.

Here is the song lyric of the week. Only problem is that you have to guess who sings the song. Happy guessing. By the way I am not sure what the other purpose is just yet for me to be on this planet.....


Its my work he'd say
I do it for pay
and when its all up...just a pseudo on my way to paradise
where the trout streams flow and the area is nice
and ride a horse along the trail
but then they took him to the jail house
where they tried to turn a man into a mouse

The Drives

As I see everybody has started to blog about the "younger years" I thought I would throw my two cents in with some of the historic drives I have been on in my life.

First historic drive that I was on was the night of the flood. Dear god, all I remember is having to sleep in the back of probably a 1979 Chevy Station wagon. Man was that a sweet ride. Probably one of the first cool family cars where you could sit int he back of it and not have to face your parents. They had no clue what we were doing, or at least we thought that. Who would have known that cars have rear view mirrors. Anyway, that was one early wake up in the middle of the night to attempt to cram all of our worldly possessions into the wagon. I think all we ended up with were animals and human beings. A decent first attempt. I would have preffered my GI Joes to Ripper, but not my call. That drive ended up parked at a gas station which was the highest point we could find that would not wash us away. One crazy drive that was.

Second most historic drive was the first long auto ride that I was on with Jim and Jayne. For all of you that know Jim and Jayne there were more historic rides that we were on together, but this was the first. I think it was the first time since we had been married (after my ass was chewed by them both for even attempting that) that we went out to visit them in San Fran. We were on our way to a game for the Oakland A's. Was going to be sweet. About an hour drive or more with traffic from their house and I was pumped to see the "Bash Brothers" or now maybe the Roid Brothers in action. McGwire and Canseco. We get in site of the stadium and boy did we hit the traffic. Dead stop. It all happened so fast that all I remember are a ton of F-bombs, shits, damns, and then we were headed back to the house. Didn't even make it all the way. Needless to say it was a long quiet ride back to their house and needless to say I was worried about our marriage.

The third most memorable drive was the drive we took with mom and dad up and down the east coast. Very long drive, but it was a very memorable one. We saw it all from D.C. to downtown NYC and everything in between. Very sweet, wish I could have remembered more of it at the time. All I remember was that it was the first time I had seen so many bums int he street begging for money. All new to us from T-Town. Good drive.

Lastly and I wanted to name this blog for this song, but I am sure you all remember the song dad used to sing that would make us all cry we laughed so hard on these drives.

Down in the west Texas town of El paso
Where little Ricky had a bugger in his nose

Down in the west Texas town of El paso
Where little Joshy had crusty underwear

Down in the west Texas town of El paso
Where little Micah had his finger in his butt

Great lyrics for great drives.

Love Boat Captain

Well its my anniversary today and the woman that I am supposed to be enjoying it with is not with me. Sad but true. I cant get her a card (not that my dumb ass would remember) so I am going to write a blog about her. I am having a reality bites week. I am truly realizing that the woman I love is the real driver of this ship. Not only does she take care of a lot more than I realize, I am also realzing that without her I would go absolutly nuts. There is no no doubt in my mind that I cant handle life without her. Not only the home life, but work life as well. I am finding out that without her support at home, my work life falls apart as well.

We have been married now for 9 years and I think (dont quote me) have known each other for probably another 4-5 years. I always remember her being this girl in high school that didnt really give a shit about the outside world stuff. She made it through the begining of life basically her own and she was going to live it on her terms. I cant wait to be with her on this ride through the rest of her life. I always think of my wife when I hear these lyrics. I think this song was writen for some people that died at a concert and talks a lot about love. For me when I hear these lyrics I think more about what we ask our wives to do on a daily basis and how amazing they are for doing all that they do. I love you Heidi!

Is this just another day
this god forgotten place
first comes love, then comes pain
let the games begin
questions rise and answers fall
insurmountable

Love Boat Captain
take the reigns
steer us towards the clear......

Hold me, and make it the truth
that when all is lost there will be you.
cause to the universe i dont mean a thing
and theres just on word that i still believe and its love

WOOOOO

I just got done making it through all the banter of our family. From Bro 1 ranting about some political crap, and looking at the first woman that will possibly ruin a nation built by stong males. Can you imagine what is said behind doors when these women meet with heads of other countries? I can already see Tony Blair whispering to Kim Jong "Would you?". Dont get me wrong I love a stong woman, shit I am married to one. Just dont really have the desire for them to hold the highest power in the world. Next was him bumping moms "jesus nerve". Oh boy.

Then I got to read mom's comeback to Bro 1. Get it out mom, get it out. We all know you are sorry, but I hate to tell you that you werent alone in those churchy decisions. All I know is that if there is a god that wants us to punish our kids by spanking, I dont want any part of that god. Whew, did I get my ass beat sometimes. Ouch. Then dad responds to mom's rants with a "corporate worship" comment. Classic but very, very true. Like Marilyn Manson says "welcome to the freak show."

Next and not at all the least I get to see Bro 2's blog and holy shit. I felt like I was actually in the room with you guys. Who would have ever thunk that I would live 2 states away from my brother and get to go to a doctors appointment with him to see his next sibling. Weirded me out big time. My vote already for the best blog of 07.

So then you get my blog for the day. I have started to read a book that dad turned me onto called The World is Flat. Good read for you people that like to read. Not going to blog about it until I finish, but I just wanted to put that out there for discussion. Not for long folks until we are not the super power in this world any more. Just a heads up. Sometimes I really wish that there was something we could do in this world to change things, but serioulsy what needs changing? Would you really rather live in another place? Dont you think we americans are just spoiled rotten and think we deserve much more than we probably do. That will be our demise. Song quote for the day:

My tapeworm tells me what to do
Pull the tapeworm out of your ass, hey

F-ing Funny

Bush

Happy Holidays

Well we got it, we shoveled it and we survived almost 24 hours without power, it was touch and go at times. Festivities are in full force here. All of the advent calendars have been updated, cookies have been baked and reindeer food prepared, by all accounts we are ready for Christmas Day. Luke and I have been busy in the kitchen preparing the Christmas Eve dinner to include green bean casserole, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, Jayne's stuffing, potatoes, dinner rolls and last but certainly not least Luke's goose! This should be interesting. Needless to say he will be the only one eating goose tonight but at least I know that if ever the world comes to an utter disaster "my man" will be able to kill me some food! We even have homemade fudge which may be shocking to some of you but yes this year I mastered a fudge recipe. I am woman hear me roar!!!!! We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Warm Wishes

I love being a parent! I had the pleasure of taking Brooke to see the Nutcracker for the first time this weekend. The excitement was huge. Our seats were only four rows back from the stage and Brooke was right on the isle. At first she was a little nervous, just not knowing what to expect, but then it began. The excitement and joy on her face was priceless and worth all the sassy moments! My role as a mother was narrator as Brooke had lots of questions, "why aren't they talking", "when are they going to talk", "what does the Nutcracker have in his pants" (that was my favorite.) So on this occasion I leave you all with a bit of advice have the curiosity of a child, laugh like it is always the funniest thing you ever heard and run like you are being chased. Childhood is a Great Thing!

Happy Thanksgiving

2 for 1

++++This blog may contain sexual material+++++


Not to overshadow my lovely wife, but there is an immediate need for a man hood discussion. Please make sure to read her blog below. My buddy Jake is going in on Friday for the big "snip, snip". For those ladies reading this blog, that means his man berries are being relieved of their duty. It will be a sad moment in Jakes life and I want to make sure somebody stands up for him, even though the decision on him has been made. Is this right? Should another human being have the right to take away procreation from any living form?

I have been told that we have to be very careful to watch the weight of Jake after the surgery. Well no shit. What else does he have to live for other than hunting, sleeping and eating. Must be nice. Mom, wanted to know if the vet can do a 2 for 1 deal with Jake and I. Well the fundamental answer is NO. I am holding out for mankind, and for man dogs everywhere. We have to stand for some morals in this world and having another man shave my testicles at any point in time in my life is just plain nuts (no pun intended). I have no desire to sit with a bag of frozen peas, actually frozen potatoes (have to have something to remind me) on my berries for any given amount of time.

Now, mimi's don't get you hopes up this does not mean that right now in our lives we still want another child. That debate is slowly but swiftly dwindling away. I think true to the Hegenbart style that I am on some sort of list, time table, or otherwise arrangement on when we can and cant have another child. In honor of Jake I would like to thank his tongue for all the cleaning it has done over the past 5 months. I would also like to thank his mother for assisting in keeping them clean. Three cheers for Jake as he enters in the world of the "Pat's" (SNL Character).

Manhood In
Surgery Out

What's New?

Winter is officially here. We got about 6-8 inches on Friday and it is snowing again this morning so there will be more sledding today after school.
Brooke is doing great! Loves school, loves dance, loves swim lesson and much to our dismay loves a boy named Ty! Luke and I have set the official dating age at 16 so we will see if it sticks. Me, well things are good. Finished another half marathon with Luke, Brooke and "big" Josh cheering me on, that was fun. I have also started substitute teaching and so far only one kid yelling profanity, one kid pull their pants down and one puking incident, overall I would say that is decent. It has been fun! Luke, well he is Luke trying to experience the great outdoors but karma is getting to him. He is going to have to start banking some good deeds! Last but certainly not least, Jake, come Friday he will no longer be a man! One down, one to go!!!!!

Makes You Think

"Let us begin with the body. The plain man thinks that material objects must certainly exist, since they are evident to the senses. Whatever else may be doubted, it is certain that anything you can bump into must be real; this is the plain man's metaphysic. This is all very well, but the physicist comes along and shows that you never bump into anything: even when you run your hand along a stone wall, you do not really touch it. When you think you touch a thing, there are certain electrons and protons, forming part of your body, which are attracted and repelled by certain electrons and protons in the thing you think you are touching, but there is no actual contact. The electrons and protons in your body, becoming agitated by nearness to the other electrons and protons are disturbed, and transmit a disturbance along your nerves to the brain; the effect in the brain is what is necessary to your sensation of contact, and by suitable experiments this sensation can be made quite deceptive. The electrons and protons themselves, however, are only crude first approximations, a way of collecting into a bundle either trains of waves or the statistical probabilities of various different kinds of events. Thus matter has become altogether too ghostly to be used as an adequate stick with which to beat the mind. Matter in motion, which used to seem so unquestionable, turns out to be a concept quite inadequate for the needs of physics.
Nevertheless modern science gives no indication whatever of the existence of the soul or mind as an entity; indeed the reasons for disbelieving in it are very much of the same kind as the reasons for disbelieving in matter. Mind and matter were something like the lion and the unicorn fighting for the crown; the end of the battle is not the victory of one or the other, but the discovery that both are only heraldic inventions. The world consists of events, not of things that endure for a long time and have changing properties. Events can be collected into groups by their causal relations. If the causal relations are of one sort, the resulting group of events may be called a physical object, and if the causal relations are of another sort, the resulting group may be called a mind. Any event that occurs inside a man's head will belong to groups of both kinds; considered as belonging to a group of one kind, it is a constituent of his brain, and considered as belonging to a group of the other kind, it is a constituent of his mind. "

By the way this was written in 1928. I think that was called the greatest generation ever or something like that. Here is what we have concluded in the WI Humphreys household:

a. Still working on the definition of faith
b. Your "soul" does not and can not feel physical pain without the brain.
c. If your sould feels "emotional" pain, it also is handled in the brain and the brain as you well know mom can be altered with help. Help can come in various ways and means.
d. We have to learn more about the brain.

More to come.

Its Life and Death

Weird week this week and we are only half the way through. Had a contractor of mine that lost his son on Friday to an auto accident. Then the next phone call I got on Monday was a contractor of mine that had their second child. What a freaky deal. One in.....One out. Really making me think about everything, althought my minde is coming off a "speed" high fromt he pills I take so I dont die while running three miles.

How about Heidi and Brooke running in that race? Pretty cool!! Heidi is really into this running deal, and she is pretty good at it. Brooke is all over the place at school. They have this deal at school, which I assume replaces getting your ass beat like we used to get at Eastwood. I still have nightmares off all the different paddles that each teacher had. What a joke! I digress....they have this deal where you start the day off at "green light". If you act up you get downgraded to "yellow light" and if you really F-up you get the very bad "red light". Thankfully Brooke has only gotten the Yellow light once and then the next day she was back to Green. Seriously, why cant everything be this simple. Work related, you start the day off Green, and if you end in Red dont bother coming back. Life related you are born with the Green light to do whatever you please and by the end of life you are at Red and cant move. Again probably the speed talking.

I leave on Saturday for North Dakota. Cant wait for the annual trip. It is well needed, not to get away from family because I will miss them, but just to be outdoors in the peacefullness of GUN BLASTS RINING MY EARS!!! Its great.

Question to really think about for the next blog and I want some serious answers:

Does your soul feel physical pain? and can your soul take on a physical being?

Late

Race Day

Big Saturday at the Humphreys household! Today Brooke ran in her first ever race and got a blue ribbon. It was the Island Artfest kids run and 10K. All I can say is you boys can eat our dust, GIRLS RULE!!!!!!!

Day 2...

Ok so the first day was pretty good. Mom shed a few tears, dad went to work like normal and Brooke met a new friend with "brown skin." (I told her to find out her name today) When I asked Brooke what they did she replied..."we had six recesses and did you see that big fat guy, mom?" I was a little taken back and she went on to explain that he was her music teacher and his name is "tiny." She is learning already! No computers on the first day but they did have nap time. Today is day 2 and Brooke wanted to ride the bus so again a large knife cut another portion of the cord!

Tune in Tomorrow

Well it becomes official tomorrow. Our girl gets officially thrown into the woods, literally her school is in the woods. Thank god those are not the Eastwood woods or the Wright Christian Academy woods. Just kidding mom, but I really would have rather been in public schools. Boy schools have come so far from when I was a kid. I am going to sound really old, but they have cool iMac in their classroom!! I guess that is what I pay for every paycheck and will do it with a smile on my face from here on out.

We had orientation on Thursday of last week. Got to meet the teacher, see other classmates, check out the cafeteria (gym) and meet the principal. She has 22 kids in her class and they have 2 other K classes. Don't think momma is going to let her ride the bus for the first couple days, but maybe she will ease into it after a while. I guess all that crime in Wausau?

Nothing else special going on here, just enjoying the pre-fall weather, getting ready for hunting season and schooling Jake in my spare time. He is doing great. Knows how to sit, knows how to stay and come with a peep of the whistle, and learning how to heal. He is retrieving in the water already as well. I saw the guy we bought him from yesterday at Gander Mountain and we talked for about 30 min. Its so cool to see his eyes light up when I talk about jake to him. He has a real passion for his dogs.

Brooke will be the first grandchild to blog tomorrow so stay tuned. She will explain to you all in her own words (could be better than strategery) how her day was and what she did. I am sure there will be some huge hygantic fantaboulous things that she accomplished.

Later/Luke

Lists

Well anyone who knows me knows that my life revolves a series of lists. This weekend was the ultimate in marking things off my to do list. Grandma and Grandpa Church came to visit and we put them to work. While the girls worked on staining the deck (which may be the most tedious job in the world) the boys fixed my front porch, installed a disposal, got the lawn ready to plant and put up a dog kennel for Jake. It was a great weekend! We loved having the company and I loved marking some much needed items off my list. I have already started the list for GC for next summer's visit!

We are 3 weeks out from the big K5 and Brooke is getting really excited. I must say some days I just can't believe my little baby is going to kindergarten and then there are days like today when I can't wait. My morning was spent breaking up spats between Brooke and Jake, who knew a dog was like having another child. Someone should have clued me in!!!!! On the Jake note the "cute phase" is over and now we are in the "little shit" phase. After cleaning out a pee soaked kennel twice last week I was ready to send him back and I think after his 1 1/2 of barking last night Luke may be ready also. He is a LOT of work. I think this puppy was a good test that has confirmed that 1 baby was enough. I am thinking of seeing if we can get a two-for-one deal on getting the Humphreys boys fixed!

Meet Me

Hi my name is Kenai River Retriever's Jake. This is my first time blogging so please forgive me if I am short. Hope you all like my new pictures. Next shot will be me holding my first duck. Wish me well in my training. My trainer is a stud hunter so it should be pretty easy. Post comments if you have any questions about me, if not thanks for checking me out.

Jake

Light Years

Well, I'm back after a little sabbatical from the blogging world. What have I done since the last one.......Saw by far one of the best rock bands in the world, put a down payment on a new family member, found out somebody my wife loves has the "C" in his body, worked my ass off, found out North Korea is shooting nukes at us, etc., etc. Wow, not sure which one to tackle first. So we will start from the beginning.

First, Pearl Jam was great. Had to see them by myself, but I think it might have been best that way. Sat by some stanger that I had never met and him and I belted out songs at the top of our lungs like we were meant to sit by eat other. Amazing what music can do to people. Especially music coming from somebody that really believes and means what he is signing. He dedicated a song to his friend "Pete" that was evidently sick (I think Peter Gammons?). Light Years. Great lyrics to this song that remind me of our family, sometimes. Just like everytime I hear them play Elderly Woman live I think of G-ma Hump and Ethel. One of the things he does that I love is between some lyrics on songs, you can hear him almost breath "Fuck it". Anyways it rocked.

Second, we went last weekend and put a down payment on a black lab. It will be a male and we will be picking him up in a couple of weeks. Pretty excited about that, but at the same time we both realize its going to be some work. But, we are ready for it. He comes from a really good blood line. His mom is a hunter (Kenia River Retriever) and his dad (Lotta Black Pepper) was a MH (Master Hunter) AFC (amateur Field Champion) and also in 1999 was the Wisconsin Pheasant retrieving Champion. Pretty cool. We need help with names, so please give us some ideas. He has to have 3 names in order to be AKC registered, so let the names ring in!!!!!

Third, not going to say much because when I think about it I get a little bit emotional. Please keep this guy in your thoughts as we hope he gets through this with little to no pain.

Fourth, worked my ass off. Like I said above Fuck it.

Fifth, North Korea wants to destroy most all of us. Reports now show that one of their missiles was aimed at Hawaii. Oh, boy. I suppose all you left wing nuts (not that I am a right wing nut) think we should let diplomacy run its course. Uh no. Don't want another war, but lets get our asses over there and blow up those sites that are making these nukes and be done with it. No, different that what Clinton did in with Iraq in his years. Then, if this dictator keeps it up he can end up like the others. I watched this guy from the UN on the tube talk yesterday and my buddy O'Reilly was giving him a hard time because of the Sudan. If you don't know what's going on over there the Muslims are killing tons of Africans. The reason nobody from the UN will do anything about it is because China has "vested" interests there and its up to the US to get China on board. Are you serious? Same agency that stole money in the Oil for Food campaign in Iraq. We have to take action to save ourselves, there is no diplomatic way of doing things any more. Everybody is only looking out for their own interests. I don't feel like getting cooked by nukes just yet.

Now you were wanting those lyrics that remind me of our family and loved ones:

With heavy breath, awakened regrets
Back pages and days alone that could have been spent, together.....
but we were miles apart
every inch between us becomes light years now
no time to be void or save up on life
you gotta spend it all......